life's a bitch sometimes

5 signs that say your life is a mess:

1. your laundry's been piling up for over a couple of weeks
2. you get pissed off when your parents check up on you because you know you haven't been doing well lately
3. you are running very low on cash, so much that you might have to eat out of cans for quite some time to survive
4. you say shit everytime you get reminded of things you're supposed to do but don't really want to start on just yet
5. you're bedroom's all cluttered and messy

yep, i'm in trouble. i've always found myself stuck in a glitch every so often it's a wonder i've never really learned. i guess i'm just too slow. every day, i feel like life is trying to pull the rug off my feet that i have to run and rush just to keep up. i feel like i'm missing half of my life with all this rushing and keeping up. damn.

Your Heart Today

Your Heart Today

(M. Francisco, SJ)

Where there is fear I can allay
Where there is pain I can heal
Where there are wounds I can bind
And hunger I can fill

REFRAIN:
Lord, grant me courage
Lord, grant me strength
Grant me compassion
That I may be Your heart today

Where there is hate I can confront
Where there are yokes I can release
Where there are captives I can free
And anger I can appease (REFRAIN)

BRIDGE:
When comes the day I dread
To see our broken world
Compel me from my cell grown cold
That Your people I may behold

Where there is fear I can allay
Where there is pain I can heal
Where there are wounds I can bind
And hunger I can fill (REFRAIN)

CODA:
And when I've done all that I could
Yet there are hearts I cannot move
Lord, give me hope
That I may be Your heart today

**
Saw a nice blog entry relevant to the topic. I hope I don't seem like a stalker. haha
Scroll down to the bottom. If it can relate to it, you're on the right track. :)

revolution!

My results to How Will You Change The World test:

You'll create change as an Activist

Your philosophy? Make it happen! With your big heart and willingness to take initiative, it should be no surprise that you’ll change the world through your direct actions. While others might be more content working behind the scenes, a direct go-getter like you is more fulfilled by working on the front lines.

Willing to roll up your sleeves and get the job done, you know the world won’t wait for others. Whether you’re volunteering at a soup kitchen in your own backyard, or joining the Peace Corps to learn from and help others in developing countries, chances are, you know every individual can help make big change.

Feel ko barbero yung test. But still... This is actually a big dream of mine. To change the world. And not just in my "own little way". I want to do it big time. Actually it's not for the prestige, although it would be nice to get famous haha, but there are just a lot of injustice going on in this world and I would like to die knowing that I did something that really helped a lot of people. It just breaks my heart to see people living in the streets. It makes me cry to see old people begging for our loose change. The world often seems so unfair it makes me so mad and so sad at the same time. People who have done nothing but make themselves richer, sometimes even at the expense of other people, just living in those big houses, living luxuriously and eating 10x a day while there are just so many out there starving. Argh. And the sad part is, I don't have the guts to do anything about it. Oh yes I can do something about it if I really wanted to do, like all the people who made a difference by starting out with the will to do something, but I still haven't. I know the power of sheer willpower is very strong. It changes lives. So I hope I can rise above myself and start doing something. In the meantime, practicing preferential option on a personal level would do me a lot of good. You know how sometimes the easiest things tend to be the hardest ones to do?

**

check this out: aisissucks.blogspot.com.

nakakatawa grabe. may aisis pick up lines pa. haha. pero sana huwag namang immature. ;p

good friends are priceless

We have just been through a scathing today. Okay, kelangan ko nga palang manalog. Ngayong araw kasi ang pag-uulat namin sa Pagmamatiyag ng Kalikasan (Environmental Monitoring). Bawat pangkat ay mag uulat ng mga resulta ng mga eksperimentong isinagawa sa buong tag-init (summer).

At mukhang hindi nagustuhan ng aming guro ang kinalabasan ng mga pag uulat. Nakakadiri (disgusting) daw. Ngunit gayunpaman (tama ba 'to), hindi ako masyadong nalungkot. Marahil dahil gusto ko nalang matapos ang mga kailangang gawin.

Pagkatapos nga ng klase, sa kabila ng hindi nakakatuwang pangayayri, masaya pa rin ako. Kasi nagtatawan kami ng mga kaibigan ko habang tinatapos namin ang dapat ipasang papel (paper) na kaakibat ng pag uulat. Nagbibiruan kami at naghihiritan hanggang sa sasakyan ni Bennet (hi bennet! salamat sa pagpapasabay). At alam kong alam ng lahat kung ano ang pakiramdam kapag nakikipagbiruan ka sa mga kaibigan mo, kahit tungkol sa mga walang kwentang bagay. It's a warm, fuzzy, comforting feeling, and your face feels like it can put that smile on for hours without ever tiring a muscle. Di ko na kaya, haha.

So to very brilliant friends who are going to save the world with me (blob!), hug!!! Haha. Thanks for everything. Mwah, mwah.

PS. Pwde palang mag upload ng pic sa entry. haha. Just learned this today.

God loves me

ang saya ko paggising ko. naalala ko kasi ang nangyari kagabi. haha, ang sagwa. pero hindi naman. tungkol pa rin ito sa pagpapalista ko ng mga kurso. (obsessed na ba?) dalawang libreng iboboto (free elective) ang kukunin ko sa unang semestre. at balak ko noon pa na gamitin ang dalawang ito sa DS na kurso. ngunit kahapon ng maaga, mukhang malabong mangyari pa iyon sapgkat wala akong masyadong gusto doon sa mga nakahain para sa unang semestre at yung isang gusto ko talaga ay tatamaan ang oras na nakalaaan para sa thesis.

ngunit nang naisipan kong tinganan muli ang iskediyul ng mga klase kagabi, sobranga nakakatuwa. pinalitan yung iskediyul ng klase ni sir leland, yung gusto ko talagang kunin dahil magaling siya, at nadagdagan ang mga kursong nakahain. andun na si harvey keh at magtuturo ng isang klase, social innnovations seminar. yes! kaya sila ang kinuha ko. parang sinadya talaga na makuha ko ang mga klaseng ito. tadhana. naisip ko rin na sinadya rin ang hindi pagturo ni sir bobby guev ngayong semestre para balanse ang bigat ng trabaho. yikee.

sana lang hindi ko naman maramdamang wala ako sa lugar sa pagkuha ng klase na to. at sana marami akong matutunan na magagamit ko sa hinaharap. excited na ko.

sa maaga kong pagpalista

sapagkat pinalad akong maging kasapi ng lsat, maari akong makapagpalista sa aking mga klase ng mas maaga sa mga nakararami. kaya kaninang alas otso ay handa na akong pumunta sa rsf. pagdating ko doon, naroon na rin ang iba kong mga kaibigan na magpapalista rin. ang bagal ng aisis grabe. inabot ako halos ng isang oras para magpalista sa dalawang kurso palang. ayos lang. hindi naman ako natatakot maubusan ng klase.

kinuha ko si fr. meehan para sa theology 151. madaling i-A daw kasi, medyo boring nga lang. wala rin naman akong nababalitang magaling talaga na guro sa 151 kaya siya nalang kinuha ko.

ngunit para sa philosophy 103, kinuha ko si, tan-tananan-tanan!, mr. eddieboy calasanz. ang kapal ko siguro ngunit gusto ko maranasang magkaroon ng magaling na guro sa pilosopiya. marahil marami namang magaling pero sa tingin ko, walang tatalo kay eddieboy, lalo na sa pilosopiya ng relihiyon, kaya siya na. siya na talaga. kaya heto ako ngayon at nagsasanay managalog.

kumusta naman kasi yung guro ko sa pilosopiya noong nakaraang semestre, si mr a kl soh. hay. wala akong sama ng loob sa kaniya pero hindi ko lang siguro tipo ang istilo ng kaniyang pagtuturo. kapayapaan (peace!) mr soh. haha.

sana magkaroon ng mabuting kapalaran ang mga magpapalista bukas kasi marami-rami sila. ;p

haha

early online enlistment na pala bukas. buti nga na-activate ko na account ko in the nick of time. crammer na naman. anyway, di pa ko nakakapagpa-advise. mali-mali pa yung nakalagay sa my program of study.

pero excited na ko kasi maraming core subjects. yey! sad nga lang kasi di pala magtuturo si sir bobby guev. on leave daw siya. at hulaan kung pano ko nalaman 'to. eh di pinuntahan ko siya sa theo dept. ang kapal talaga. nung paakyat na ko sa dela costa, na-realize ko rin na nakakahiya. buti nalang kasama ko sina kt at pau, sabi ko. or so i thought. anyway tamang-tama, di pa kami matagal sa loob ng theo dept biglang pumasok si sir bobby.

ako: sir bobby guev, magtuturo po ba kayo ng first sem?
BG: hindi, on leave ako.
ako: ah. pero sa 2nd sem po?
BG: ah oo. pero maraming magtuturo ngayon. sina mark lawrence at harvet keh... magagaling lahat yan.
ako: ok po. thank you.
(BG leaves)
(laughter heard from behind)
(precious swirls to face her friends)
pau: nakakatawa ka. sir bobby guev tawag mo sa kaniya.
ako: bakit? mali ba?
kt: tsaka anong ginagawa mo sa kamay mo habang kinakausap siya? para kang paru-paro.
(i turn red)
pau/kt (blob kasi kami): namumula ka
ako: naku, matatandaan niya kaya mukha ko? nahihiya na tuloy ako. mukha ba talaga akong tanga kanina?
kt: baka kasama ka na sa kuwento niya sa class niya next time. sasabihin niya, pasensiya na kung andito siya pero dati may paru-parong kumausap sakin dati...

hay naku. mga kaibigan talaga. haha. at para naman akong tinataboy ni sir bobby guev, nagrecommend ng ibang teachers. :)

so mag-theo151 muna ako. di ko pa alam kung sino. di ko kasi inakala ang pangyayaring ito. parang sinadya. anyway, bahala na.

dirty word

this has been the worst summer of my ateneo life. my past two summers actually managed to be fun (yes, despite belen and his erratic answers to quizzes. i will never forgive you for that B though.) and provided an ample amount of free time. i hardly have free time. or at least i don't think i have. not during weekdays while the sun is still up. aside from classes that sometimes take the whole day, there are always a bunch of mtgs to attend to, and errands to do. and still i consider myself a lazy bum.

despite the knowledge that there are important things to be done, i always manage to sleep my nights away, and very soundly at that. will to power, that's what i need, as someone once (or twice) told me. argh!

doing my best seems one of the most difficult things to do lately. and the funny part is, i know exactly what i have to accomplish and why i have to do it.

***

elections are coming up very soon, and i still don't know who to vote for. why some people actually want to vote for ping lacson, please enlighten me. anyhow my dad told me he was voting for trillianes, the guy involved in the coup, and when i asked him why, he said that he was a symbol of anti-corrruption or of anti-government or something like that. i was surprised he even considered the guy but i kind of got his point.

one of the main reasons i'm not even sure who to vote for at this point is that everybody seems dubious. i mean you go with team unity and there's gloria. the gloria with the pig of a corrupt husband, her phone pal garci, and angelo reyes as denr secretary (what's srong with you woman? why him of all people?!). and then you go to the opposition and there's erap! the erap we ousted a few years back with his midnight cabinet and mistresses' houses. and then when you try to examine the candidates themselves, you have to be able to see the discrepancy between their claims and what they've actually done. unfortunately, a lazy bum like me doesn't have time to do this.

doesn't the church have any manual for us or something? i think they have. speaking of manuals, my dad told me the comelec should actually have distributed their manuals to the voters. he got one. yeah, like that's really going to happen.

argh, politics is just so complicated and dirty. no wonder so many people don't believe in it anymore. the whole thing is structurally disordered. it wouldn't be half as bad if everyone was well-off but we are a third world country, with poor people actually starving! hopeless... but we can never be in a state of hopelessness. as long as we're alive, there would always be hope. (no marcel pls).

bow.